Today I woke up and I had an ultimate question: go left or go right. Doesn't matter where I am and which was the choice to be made, I had 50% of possibilities to be right, and 50% to be wrong , or left.
Bob Marley stated that if you don't know what to decide between two elements, better that you flip the coin, in the moment the coin will fall, you will know what you desire in the end.
The point is that this morning I didn't know what I wanted, I flipped the coin, but every turn in the air, I was changing my mind.
I asked to all the people I met, what do you think? Left or right? All of them suggested me to go right, but once in the car I drove left. While driving I continuously stared at the back mirror: I am still on time to make a U turn. Keep on driving.
Miles after miles my genuine optimism and positivity was overwhelmed by a sense of loneliness and unfaithfulness.
I don't know what was happening but I didn't want to fight this blues, I wanted to make it mine.
The road was empty and sunny, my car was empty and silent. I was alone and going in a direction where nobody suggested me to go, neither myself, but I kept my direction. Let's see what will happen.
I was driving towards the Death Valley. I remembered the Antonioni's movie, Zabriskie Point and I laught. This movie has been a huge flop in the 70's although I liked it a lot when I saw it. Flip the coin for a flop, flip flop!
This morning I bumped into a tv news, commenting what happened in Paris, Charlie shot, policeman shot, I decided to shut down the tv avoiding my personal judgement.
Probably that was the starting point of my sadness, I didn't care about the news, moreover when the speculation starts (it's another 9/11). People killed because what they think is offending someone else. It's a matter of choise, left or right. For who knows the story of Zabriskie Point, as Mark said "willing to die, but not of boredom" I say, willing to choose but not for boredom.
Freedom and decisions, have always some consequence, sometimes irreversible. Sometimes people are aware of those consequences and they keep on driving left, because right is boring.
Karl in Zabrieskie Poing, Charlie in Paris, and myself in the car. But probably I drove left just because someone pushed me to the left, or my unconscious thinking connected the dots, or just because I respect people that believes; or God knows what.
I am dyslexic, atheist and insomniac. I stay up all night wondering if there really is a Dog. And I love to go left.